Hyderabad Happenings
"We're all in agreement that this morning waking up and walking outside of the dorms to the sandy plains felt like we were in Africa..."
"Cricket was awesome to learn (even through the language barrier)... Everything was basically on an honor system as there were no actual lines of boundary. In America that would most likely never fly because we seem to sacrifice integrity for personal gain, or simply, we get competitive and find ways to get ahead. Though, I don't know if it's a reflection of the Indian sense of "integrity" so much as that they probably just don't even think to cheat (or at least not like we do)- much due probably to the influence of Hinduism and the concept of karma... I really respect that about them, and even while their sense of honor may not be intentional (if it is just due to their cultural norms), I'd like to learn from them and have a better sense of contentment- work within my means rather than constantly looking for ways to work around them."
"In the U.S., you shouldn't really take pictures of strangers without their consent, but here, just like staring is not considered rude, it seems that taking photographs is not either. In fact, they seem to like it... I hope I'm not mistaken on this..."
"Smiling and waving on the street seems much better than not doing so. Expressions of cold tension are instantly broken to hearty smiles when you offer a warm smile. I prefer to represent tourists that way, even if we aren't following protocol."
"Speaking of waving, when we were in preparation for the trip, everyone said that eye contact would be a huge deal- that women should not look people in the eye... Of course we get exception/privilege out of being excused since we're tourists, but it seems like eye contact is fine. Everyone stares on the streets, and I feel like ignoring that just further perpetuates the celebrity-feel... Maybe some would feel the opposite, but I feel less pompous actually smiling and waving and saying hi. Also, fruits show from that: they smile back. It seems like more of an exchange (which is not to say that giving them a smile is like a gift from a celebrity, but yeah, to them it kind of is, right?)"
"While I did feel like the people of the villages were being made into a spectacle like in a zoo or something, they did kind of seem to like it and enjoy being photographed, etc. I did, though, feel kind of like a consumer of experience rather than an experiencer of experience. I think that was dealt with by conviction. I assessed whether I felt pushy taking photos by what my heart was telling me (for instance, no photos while we prayed for the woman who passed away... that felt reverent in a way that didn't need documentation and deserved to be uncaptured)."
"I think it was important that we try to actually interact with the people rather than just consume and leave... So I tried to at the very least smile and wave if I took a photo of someone- otherwise I feel like I'm just intrusively violating them without really caring about them personally. Documentation of photos kind of seems dangerous in that way."
"Today we visited an orphanage, essentially to play with the kids and... well I don't know what else. I suppose that's the problem... I suppose at the root, I feel violated, so my heart may not be hurting for them as much as I think, but the children were so sadly mistaken and so deeply enthralled in the glimpse of Americans that I was angry at them. Angry at their perceptions, at the culture that breeds those perceptions. Angry that it was okay for us to go there for one hour, have nothing prepared or planned but to stand around and be gawked at and touched and hugged- not for love's sake but for some unknown agenda. One that felt impure and intrusive. Most of all I was angry at our response. More than angered, sickened. Everyone kept commenting about seeing joy and feeling God's presence and being encouraged by the children's smiles, etc... It seemed like no one was struggling with the experience. But I felt the opposite. I could not see God there. It felt fake, forced, showy, exploited, uncomfortable, deceitful, abrasive, awkward to name some describers. So does that mean that my heart isn't in the right place?"
"I guess I felt yesterday like my attitude was not productive. I saw everyone else super encouraged and full of love and appreciation and I was full of anger and annoyance. Which, yes, is a choice. But I felt obligated to be aware of the negatives. It felt dangerously ignorant to just "see God's presence" and their smiles and not think about the devastation there. But, what did it accomplish to see the negatives? At least in ignorance and only seeing the positives, we can tell people back home that "God is here; I see his presence in the darkest of places" and other cliches. Yet, even while that is encouraging, it feels like a lie. A misrepresentation, at least in half. An ignorant response, one that we're settling for because there's really no other option. So I don't blame us for responding that way. In fact, I suppose I'm jealous or convicted because I wasn't responding that way. And no matter what is going on externally, it's an internal decision on how I perceive all of this. Which is heavy. However, it is (or should be) liberating."
"It's true that two people can have a completely different experience while doing essentially the same thing... But is it possible to have a "wrong" experience, since it is a question of attitude/perspective? Should we ever be guilty for how we are perceiving our experience (perhaps guilty is the wrong word...convicted)?"
"God uses situations in different ways for each person for his purpose. Don't assume or condemn what someone else is getting out of something; appreciate the way you are experiencing it and be thankful for what you can learn from it. Do we always need to find the applications of our experiences?"
"God's presence doesn't necessarily need to be observed externally... You may not 'see His presence' in something or someone, but perhaps the absence of external connection draws you in to his presence in your heart. Don't think so much of it as a 'choice' to see God in everything, but a steady way of life to see Him in everything. In this way, you work more toward being consistent and his presence is a constant, even when your perceptions are not."
"If/when you do have a 'bad' experience and everyone around you seems to have had a good one, how do you interact with them afterward? Obviously, honestly. But if I were to say my true feelings, 1)it would hurt their impressions and be a negative influence on their experience/memory, 2)I'd be considered a Debbie Downer of sorts or simply that I have a bad attitude (especially if they didn't understand where I was coming from), and 3) perhaps later when my emotions are settled, I would regret having spilled everything out. But, I don't want to be fake. I would not want to lie and go along with something I didn't truly agree with. So, I stayed quiet and kept to myself. But even then my quietness communicated that something was wrong and people asked until I broke down. Is there a better way?"
"When reading the scripture passage out loud during church, I heard an echo from the back; we Americans read at a distinct pace, and they- while they may have had their own pace- seemed to just be reading. We have- while we may not know that we do- a certain structure and flow of reading out loud. Do all cultures have their own version of this? What determines the vocal pitch/tone/pace?"
"When we went to the bathrooms at the fort, we went to the squatty potty and Sweety (one of our Indian friends) went in and was like, "This is gross. It's too dirty for you." and then a guard came and unlocked a gate to a private, locked and enclosed Western bathroom only for foreign esteemed visitors. As he washed the room with a bucket of water and we waited outside the door, Sweety went to use the prior bathroom. When we asked them to use the nice one with us, they said, "No! This one is only for you! The other one is not good enough for you!" It was pretty sad; I felt extremely rude... How do you not get annoyed/angry at this culture's way of over-spoiling us, while still accepting it and extending thanks and grace... I suppose it just makes me feel confused/conflicted/not myself inside... Would it affect me long term to live here and begin expecting that when I went back home?"
"If it's 'not our job to judge' other cultures' religious efforts (like, I shouldn't worry about whether these Christians are "doing it right," no?), then why do we do that to other denominations and even other churches in the U.S.? Where is the line drawn between keeping one another accountable and being critical and taking God's work of being the judge?"
"So vastly deep and complex, culture can be glimpsed in these trips but there is much we won't understand or even see. Is reading/learning about a culture enough to even begin to understand it? How important is cross-cultural travel? Like, okay; so you have the understanding (say you've lived abroad for a couple years)... What use is it? Telling others back home, but why? For what ultimate purpose? Personal growth, but how can this help others? Does traveling take away from what you could do at home, where you already know the culture and know how you can reach it best? Is running the risk of becoming lost and confused bigger than the potential for evangelism?"
